Is Competition Pushing You Beyond Your Best?

Competition, whether in an actual event or just how you hold the space inside yourself in relation to others, could be pushing you beyond your best with unhealthy results.  I talk about "your best" as the point in each moment that fully represent you true capacity whether it be mental, emotional or physical.  Your best is not the ideal nor is it less than what you are capable of.  And it changes in every moment.

While a certain does of the competitive mindset might serve to motivate and inspire you in your personal goals, it can also create expectations and actions that don't fit with your true values or where you are in any given moment.  By definition, competition involves at least two parties and has an outcome where one is perceived as the winner and the others losers.  To me there is also an energy of external expectations which can create a space which causes you to stop listening to your own inner wisdom and what you need, and move into the place of what you think you SHOULD be doing.

Sometimes the competitive beast rears its head in an obvious way.  And, if you are being mindful, you can make a conscious decision how you want to interact within that space.  Other times, the competitive energy is more subtle and this is the area I think can be most tricky…it sneaks up on you before you realize it and you might find yourself already engaged in something that has pushed you beyond your best.

I experienced one of this subtle moments just yesterday on a bike ride with my normal biking neighbor, Tina.  Tina happens to be a stronger cyclist than I am.  And that's OK because cycling is a passion for her whereas for me it's an activity I enjoy a couple times a week and gives me a great workout outside.  I purposely ride with her because she is better and therefore I push myself  to ride faster and do more hills than I might on my own.  Overall this works fine.

Yet there are some days when my energy is out of sync with her energy above and beyond our natural cycling differences.  And yesterday was one of those days when I was feeling sluggish and tired.  I didn't fully realize this, however, when we started.  It wasn't until a good 5 miles into the 22 ride that I realized I just wasn't at my peak…but I kept pushing.  I didn't identify it as competition; rather I didn't want to slow her down or disturb her experience.  Several miles later my inner wisdom kicked in and I realized that I wasn't responsible for her experience and taking on that responsibility was coming at my own expense.

So I simply pulled back.  I didn't apologize for slowing her down.  I just stated that I was sluggish that day and if she wanted to go ahead to feel free to do so.  She did ride a bit ahead but I would eventually catch up on a down hill or a different spot.  It was nice to maintain the connection in some way, but I also would have been OK making my way back on my own had that happened.

So eventually I took care of my needs appropriately…but some of the damage was already done.  I exceeded a bit of my energy reserves and came home feeling overly tired.  Not a good way to start a work day in which I had 7 clients scheduled to see.  I made it through the day fine but ended up sleeping from 9 pm to almost 6:30 am this morning.  I also am going to take it easy today with slow stretching and quiet…in theory OK but it also interferes a bit with some tasks I needed to get done.

By not catching on in the initial moment, I then had to make corrections afterwards that had a greater cost to them.

So beware of competition in all forms.  It's not necessarily a bad thing…unless it pushes you beyond your best.

© 2009 Jamie Durner, BodyMind Coach. All Rights Reserved.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Jamie Durner, BodyMind Coach™, holds multiple certifications across the health and wellness disciplines including Nationally Certified Massage Therapist, Registered Kundalini Yoga Teacher, and Associate Credentialed Coach. She is the creator of the “Total Self Mastery” group coaching program and publishes “Healing and Harmony” monthly Ezine and blog with easy-to-use, FREE tips to move beyond chronic imbalance and into healing and harmony (sign up at www.jamiedurner.com).  She is a contributing author of the book “Yoga in America”, to HealthWise Magazine, and is one of the Expert Authors for HealthyWomanGuide.com.  She is also the yoga expert and instructor for Your Health Professional online professional exercise program.